How to Deal with a Toxic Boss
Having served in leadership positions for multiple decades, I’ve met many kinds of leaders. Unfortunately, some of them were people I would never want to work for, not necessarily because of their lack of skills, but their toxic leadership. Even just one prominent toxic leadership trait that never improves, whether it’s a negative attitude, poor communication, or anything else, can unravel the best workers over time. A bad boss can suck the soul right out of their employees and render even the most ideal dream job worthless compared to the toxicity of the environment and leadership.
Ultimately, the best thing to do if you find yourself in such a position is to find a workplace that values good leadership. Often, we have to stay in those jobs for longer than we would like for one reason or another, and it is always easier to find a new job while you are in a job. So, the more pertinent question may not be how to leave your job but how to deal with your toxic boss until you are no longer under their leadership.
1. Set Boundaries
Although toxic bosses may tell you that this isn’t the case, the truth is that you always have the right to set boundaries in the workplace. Whether it is looking for the quickest way to politely exit from conversations where your boss is needlessly slandering you or others, or speaking with your boss in a respectful way to make your boss aware of specific approaches to communicate with you that really energize you and help you to engage, boundaries can make working with a bad boss more bearable. It is always better to try and address matters directly with your boss if possible, but if you feel physically threatened or abused by your boss, I urge you to speak with your HR representative or HR department about the problems you are encountering. If you work for a big corporation, there are usually multiple people who can help guide and coach you.
2. De-Personalize It
Toxic bosses have different motivations for their bad behavior. Whether it is insecurity, fear, or just bad habits they picked up from a bad boss they had in their past, bad bosses are bad of their own accord. As frustrating as it can be when we are the recipient of poor leadership, sometimes, what can get us through a bad day is remembering that their behavior is not our fault, nor is it our responsibility to change. Soon enough, you will no longer be under their leadership.
3. Try to Make an Impact Instead of Being Impacted
Although bad bosses can undoubtedly steal the spotlight, they do not have to attract attention away from the parts of your job that give you purpose. Whether it is clinging to the cause for which you are working, knowing that you are part of an amazing team that helps you grow, or any other motivation, strive to continue to make an impact where you can in the workplace rather than being impacted by your bad boss. This is an excellent approach no matter what kind of leadership you are under because our bosses should not be why we love our jobs, nor the only reason that we dread going to work each day. It is a fact that the number one reason people leave their jobs is because of dissatisfaction with their boss rather than pay.
The only person responsible for a toxic boss is the boss themself, who should be able to consider feedback and seek to improve their leadership style. But sometimes, people are put in positions of leadership who have no intention of meeting quality leadership standards, or they never were taught how to be a great leader. These are the bad bosses that require a different approach for employees seeking to manage the effects of being under such an individual.
The good news is that nothing is permanent, and there are always ways we can find a new and better job, even if it requires a career pivot or getting your name out to headhunters. Until you are able to find your next career move, these tactics will help you conquer difficult days under a toxic boss, and make the most of your situation. I can tell you that I learned some of the best lessons on how to be a good leader by serving under some horrible bosses. They showed me how I never wanted to be, and how I never wanted to make others feel. So chalk this time up to a valuable learning opportunity.
At the same time, always keep in mind that nobody is perfect and we all have bad days now and then. Your boss may be going through a difficult time themself, at work or at home. I know there were times in my career that I was not playing at my A-level of leadership. So don’t let a temporary misstep by your boss be the cause of you writing them off forever. Your patience and respect in the face of their bad behavior may be just what they need for their own pivot as they see your positive attitude in the face of adversity.
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